Confessions of a 'Takedown' Addict: Why This Naughty Game Hooked Me In

It's an adult only, 18+ rated game that is basically a mix of your typical first-person shooter game like Call of Duty or Halo, except instead of playing as a soldier, you play as a well-endowed male character whose main goal in each level is to 'takedown' as many sexy female enemies as possible before time runs out. Now before you judge me too harshly, hear me out! Yes, the premise sounds disgusting and objectifying, but believe it or not, there is actually quite a bit of strategy involved in 'Takedown'. Each enemy has their own weaknesses – some are vulnerable to head shots, while others can only be taken down by hitting them from behind. And then there are those annoying bitches who regenerate health every few seconds, forcing you to keep up a constant barrage of bullets until they finally crumble into a pool of blood and boobs. But what really hooked me was the way the developers incorporated erotic content into the gameplay. Whenever you successfully 'take down' an enemy (and trust me, with controls that responsive, success is almost guaranteed), the camera zooms in tight on her exposed breasts or her wet, glistening pussy before transitioning into a brief animated sex scene featuring your character doing some pretty kinky stuff to his defeated foe. The animations themselves range from vanilla missionary positions all the way up to extreme bondage scenarios involving multiple partners and enough toys to rival a five-star adult boutique. And don't get me started on the array of customization options available for both your character and his arsenal. You can choose everything from his muscle mass to penis size (yes, seriously!) and equip him with everything from standard issue pistols to fully automatic machine guns modified to fire exploding dildos or ejaculating cocks. Seriously, if you can think of a perverted weapon modifier, someone in the 'Takedown' community has already created it. Of course, no online game would be complete without its share of trolls and ass hats, and 'Takeddown' (sic) is no exception. There are plenty of immature losers who spend more time lobbing racist slurs at you than actually trying to win the damned match. But then again, isn't that part of the appeal? After spending eight hours stuck at work dealing with actual assholes, nothing feels better than logging onto my virtual safe haven and returning the favor tenfold while blowing some digital cum all over my opponent's dead screen. So why pretend otherwise? Instead, grab yourself a cold one, turn off the lights, put on some bass-heavy EDM and prepare to indulge your darkest fantasies through the pixelated form of oversexualized cartoon characters. Trust me, your inner deviant will thank you for it.